He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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