well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
