ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
