Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
