called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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