dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
