did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
This toilet bowl is my home.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
