Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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