Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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