whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
