He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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