Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
