Will you blow on my dice?
I hate all girls vehemently.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
