Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
