she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
