remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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