I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
