Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Why is your signature on my underwear?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
