Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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