Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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