meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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