Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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