I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
two words...techno handjob
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
