you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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