ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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