bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
