I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
