the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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