dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
