Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
