Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
