someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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