The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize