Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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