Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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