Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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