does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
