lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
