So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
