onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
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It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
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I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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