who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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