what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
