Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
