so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
