My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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