Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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