i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
