you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
