Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
