Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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