i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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