I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
