Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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