how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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