theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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