His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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