i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I want her autograph on my taint
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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