U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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