dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
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driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
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It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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