You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
