I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
