Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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