I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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