Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
