I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
