I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
