Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
